Flashbacks
by damnitnikki
Summary: Kensi gets a visit from her ex-future-sister-in-law. It seems that Kensi's ex-fianceé, Jack, is missing.
1. Chapter 1

Kensi Blye was not happy that morning. Her alarm didn't go off and her rib was still healing. It didn't help when she arrived to work to see that Deeks was waiting for her, with that stupid smirk on his face.

"Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine?" he said.

"Not now, Deeks."

"Oh, testy. Someone must have a little visitor."

"Shut up."

They walked in doors and were immediately greeted by Hetty. "Ms. Blye, you have a visitor."

"We were just taking about that," Deeks said.

Hetty looked at him, and then turned back to Kensi. "She's waiting for you at your desk."

"My desk?" Kensi wondered aloud. As she turned into the Ops center she stopped short. "Claire?"

A girl about the age of eighteen looked at Kensi. It took her awhile, but she smiled at her. "Hey, Kens."

"What are you doing here?"

Before Claire could answer, Deeks interrupted. "And who is this?"

"Uh, this is…uh, Claire."

Deeks pushed past Kensi and held out his hand. "Hi, Uh Claire. I'm Marty Deeks. LAPD. Kensi's partner."

Claire took his hand with a smile. "Hi."

"And how do you two know each other?"

"Deeks," Kensi snapped.

Claire looked at Kensi and said, "Oh, we go way back."

Deeks tilted his head quizzically, Kensi could practically see him foaming at the mouth for answers, but before he could say anything else, Kensi stepped in. "Deeks, why don't you go into the Ops room to see if they need help?"

"But I—"

"Now."

Mumbling, Deeks left and headed up the stairs. Kensi watched him as he made it up the stairs and looked over his shoulder one last time to see what they were up to. When he saw her put her hand on her hip, he sighed and headed into the Ops room.

Kensi turned back to Claire. "Sorry about that. He can be such a pain."

"I don't mind," Claire said. "He's cute."

Kensi coughed. "Um, so why are you here?"

"Can't a girl visit her ex-future-sister-in-law without having a reason?"

"Not if the girl wasn't supposed to know where the ex-future-sister-in-law worked. Talk."

Claire looked down for a moment, then back up to Kensi. "Jack's missing."

It took awhile for Kensi to breathe again. She took a seat. "Jack's always missing. And besides, I haven't talked to him in years. Why should this matter?"

"This is different," Claire said. "Usually, when Jack runs off, we get a drunken call two days later. This time, he didn't call. It's been two weeks."

"And you didn't call the police?"

"They stopped caring the first few times it happened. They always say he'll come back. And he always does, after a couple days. But I don't know, Kensi…I have a feeling that this time…."

"He won't come back," Kensi finished.

Claire nodded.

"And why should I help?"

Claire looked at her. "You're the only one I know—that I _trust_—to do this right. Kens, I know he was an ass when he left you—"

"On _Christmas day_."

"I know, I know," Claire said. "He's an idiot. And he knows it. He's been looking for that adrenaline rush every since he came back, I know. But, he's my brother. Ever since the car wreck with my parents, he's all I got left. He's all I have," Claire took in a breath. "Please, Kensi. I am begging you."

Kensi looked at Claire. Jack was an asshole. And he didn't deserve a sister like Claire, always looking out for him; it should be the other way around. "I'll look into it."

"The man we are looking for is Lt. Jack Howard," Kensi said as Jack's photo showed up on the screen. "He's thirty-one, 6'1", brown hair, blue eyes. He was last seen at his house with his sister two weeks ago. He went out to the store and he never came back."

"And the sister didn't think it was odd?" Callen asked.

"He has a history of... disappearing."

"Isn't this a job for the LAPD?" Sam inquired.

"The police aren't willing to look for him. Again."

"So, why are we?"

"The sister is genuinely worried this time. Usually, when Howard goes off, he calls within a day or two. This time, no such luck." Kensi said.

"What car was he driving?" Deeks said.

"A blue 2008 Ford Focus," Kensi answered, glad to change the subject.

"Do we know if he's in danger?"

"Not at the moment, no."

"Where do we start?" Deeks asked.

"At his house. The address is being sent to your phones."

Callen sighed. "Let's do this."

They all started to head out of the Ops room. Kensi was the last one when Hetty stopped her. "Don't let your emotions get you or your team into trouble, Ms. Blye."

"Trust me, Hetty. I won't."


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride was silent, which was never a good sign with Deeks. Kensi was his partner long enough to now that if Deeks was silent, he wasn't happy.

"What?" she said, relieved and also terrified to break the silence. She looked at him from the passenger side.

"Nothing."

"It's something. What is it?"

He sighed. He obviously didn't want to talk about it, but that horse was already shot in the head. "This Lieutenant Howard, he isn't your…?" He trailed off, leaving the question open.

"My ex-fiancee," Kensi said bluntly. It still hurt, even after all these years.

"Yeah," Deeks said quietly. He flicked his eyes to his partner for a second, then focused his eyes back on the road. "This case won't be a conflict of interest?"

"I don't see how it could be," Kensi replied. "Jack—Lt. Howard—and I haven't spoken in years. I haven't seen him in years."

"Yeah, but Kens, it could bring up some emotions, especially how it ended—"

"Look," she cut in. "I'm doing this as a favor to Claire. That's it. My emotions won't cloud my judgment on this case. My personal life and my work life are two completely different things and I like it that way."

"I see."

Kensi looked at Deeks. His jawline was tightened. She knew she said the wrong thing. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but when she realized she didn't have a clue what to say in the first place, she shut it. She bit her lip and stared out the window. The car ride was finished in silence.

"Look who finally showed up to the party," Sam said as Deeks and Kensi got out of the car. When they didn't respond, he looked at Callen with an upward eyebrow, who shrugged.

"What do we have?" Kensi asked him.

"Nothing much," he answered. "Howard, in true Marine fashion, kept his house in tip top shape. Even with an eighteen-year-old around."

"Claire's a good kid. She wouldn't be much of a mess, either." Kensi said. She made her way around the room, cataloging the whole thing in her mind. The place was like Jack, clean and orderly, but it had bits of rebellion. Like the highly decorative shot glasses on a shelf on the wall.

Deeks watched his partner as she walked around the room. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to go check the master bedroom," he announced. He pretended not to notice the look of anxiety that Kensi gave him as he left the room.

Howard's room was not really that personal, but what could you expect from a Marine, right? Deeks did notice the stack of books on his nightstand. Figures. Kensi does go for the intellectual types. Intellectual and douchey.

He opened the drawer to the nightstand. He started to rummage around. Condoms (interesting, but not very surprising), a blank notepad, pens, tissues, and a Glock (this one got a raised eyebrow).

He took out the Glock with gloved hands and put it in an evidence bag. He was just about to close the drawer when he saw the false bottom. When he lifted it, he saw a picture, face down.

He flipped it over. It was Howard. Handsome, strong jawline, with just enough stubble to be considered "sexy" by most of the women in the LA area. He wasn't looking at the camera, but at a woman at his side. A woman that was staring right back at him. Kensi. When he saw her face, a feeling of jealousy washed over him. He swallowed the emotion and studied Kensi's face.

She was younger, but she had that same huge smile on her face. Her big eyes were that chocolaty color that Deeks had come to know so well. The only difference about her was that she didn't seem to have the wariness in her look. He guessed that came with life experience. He smiled a little and absent-mindedly caressed Kensi's face in the picture.

He placed the false bottom back in the drawer and headed back into the living room.

'What did you find?" Callen asked when he saw him.

"Glock in the nightstand. Could be nothing, could be something." Deeks said with a shrug and handed it off to one of the agents. He locked eyes with Kensi and motioned for her to go outside. She nodded in understanding.

"What's up?" she asked as she turned to face him.

He looked down and handed her the photo. "I found it in the nightstand. In a false bottom. I figured you would like it more than the guys down in evidence." He looked up at his partner. She was staring at the photo and playing with it with her fingers.

She cleared her throat and kicked a rock with her boot lightly. "Thanks, Deeks. I, uh, really appreciate it."

He looked at his partner with concern. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly.

He chuckled a bit. "You only say you're fine when you're not fine."

"Deeks."

"Kensi."

"I-I'm okay," she said.

He looked at his partner for a moment more, then, realizing that that was all he was going to get out of her, turned and walked up the sidewalk and back into the house.

Kensi breathed. She looked down at the photograph again. She folded it and put it in her back pocket. After collecting herself, she went back into the house.

"Where were you?" Sam asked.

"I was, uh, surveying the neighborhood," Kensi lied. She didn't look at Deeks. She felt his eyes on her, anyway. "Find anything?"

"Yeah," Callen called from the kitchen. When he reentered the room, he was holding a posted note. "It's a phone number." He handed it to Sam.

Sam read it out loud, "Gutierrez, March 2, Noon."

"Gutierrez," Deeks said. "As in, Jose Gutierrez, the drug lord?"

"It's a possibility," Callen commented. "The sister said that Howard was always looking for that adrenaline rush, right, Kens?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't sound like him," Kensi replied.

"Doesn't matter," Sam said. "People change. Maybe getting in with Gutierrez and his guys was the only way that Howard 'felt alive'."

Kensi still had her doubts, but she had to agree that it was a possibility. "Let's get back to Ops and see what Jose Gutierrez is up to."


	3. Chapter 3

"Kensi, you know you can always back down. Sam and Callen and I could handle this."

"Deeks, in the time that you've known me, when have I ever backed down on anything?"

"I'm just saying, if it's too much for you-"

"Jesus," she said with a sigh. She turned in her seat to look at Deeks. "I'm fine, okay? And when I say 'fine', I actually do mean fine, alright? This case has a lot of baggage for me, yes, but that doesn't mean I can't treat it like any other case. I can and I will. So, will you just lay off?"

Deeks ignored his partner's annoyance and nodded to the picture in her hands. "You've been twirling that thing around the whole time we've been in this car." He chuckled when he saw, from the corner of his eye, Kensi stop fidgeting with it. "When was it taken?"

Kensi swallowed. "The night he proposed."

Deeks tore his eyes from the road and looked at Kensi. "What?"

"Yeah. It was a few weeks before he was deployed, too. He took me to this little Mexican restaurant. He said he wanted to put the ring in champagne, but he was too anxious and he didn't want to wait. He asked me right as we were ordering dinner. It took the waitress by surprise, too." Kensi grinned as she looked at the photo. "That was Jack, though. Always impatient. Always itching to try something new."

"That must have been exhausting."

"No. It was one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place."

Deeks shook his head and tried to push down that feeling of jealously that came up in his throat. It didn't work.

"He was deployed a few weeks later?"

"Two, actually. It was alright, though. In the beginning, he would call every few weeks, made sure that I knew that he was okay."

"But?"

"But it stopped after a few months. I was okay with it, I knew that he was probably doing good."

"What happened after he came back?"

"What always happens?" Kensi laughed humorlessly. "Well, not always." She sighed and shifted her weight in her seat, uncomfortable with the whole situation. "I don't know. He said he felt like he was flying when he was over there. It gave him a rush, he said. And coming home, coming home to me, it wasn't enough for him." She tensed her hand, wanting to crumple the photo, but she didn't.

Deeks wanted to grab her hand and squeeze it, give her some sort of comfort, but all he said was, "I'm sorry, Kens."

"Yeah, well. I guess it was for the best. Even though I haven't figured out how."

"Well, let's think about it for a second," Deeks considered. "Your life would be so different. You would probably have the little mutant ninja assassins running around, 'baking' snicker doodles, and driving a mini-van."

Kensi laughed. It was so good to hear her laugh. "Mini-van? Nah. I swore to myself I would never be a mini-van mom."

"You never know, Kens. Marriage changes a person."

"I have no doubt it does, yet I wouldn't know."

Damn it. Deeks cursed himself silently. "Well, I would've married you in a heartbeat," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Kensi looked at her partner. "Really?"

"Really. I mean, you are the only girl who can kick my ass."

"I doubt I'm the only one."

"The only one that I know of."

"And you say you're such a chick magnet."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he cried in mock offense.

"With all the girls' numbers in your phone-don't lie to me, I know they're there-you would think you would have met at least one, other than me, that could kick your ass. It's just statistics. Maybe you haven't met as many girls as you claim to."

"No, Fern, I've met plenty of girls. You're just special."

Kensi didn't know what to say to that. Not wanting to have another awkward car ride, she just punched Deeks playfully in the shoulder.

"Hey, watch it! I'm driving here."

Eric pulled up a picture back at Ops. "Jose Gutierrez," he said at the mug shot of a disheveled criminal. "One of Mexico's most dangerous drug lords. He did time for smuggling, but he got out after a technicality screwed up the prosecution."

"He has control in multiple cities, the main two being LA and Mexico City," Nell continued. "His biggest supply is marijuana, followed by cocaine."

"How dangerous is this guy?" Callen inquired.

"Let's just say he has an equivalent to an army at his disposal," Eric said.

"Jeez, Kensi. Your ex goes big or goes home," Deeks said, staring at the mug shot on the big screen.

"I wish that wasn't true," Kensi whispered.

"Intel says he has a warehouse in southern Los Angeles, near the highway."

"Isn't that a bit bold for a guy like Gutierrez?" Sam cut in.

Eric shrugged. "Like I said. Army."

"If he has a warehouse, maybe that's where Jack—Lt. Howard—is," Kensi pointed out.

"It's a possibility," Nell replied.

"Yeah, but we don't even know if Jack is being held against his will, Kensi," Callen interjected. "He might just be on his own, because he wants to be."

Kensi bit her lip. She wanted to disagree, but she didn't want to seem biased. Kensi already knew that the guys were thinking she was a bit fragile on this one; she didn't need to fuel the fire.

Deeks spoke up. "Howard seems like a flight risk, but I doubt he would leave his sister alone."

Kensi sent a look of appreciation to Deeks. However, right now, everything was a possibility. Claire is eighteen. She could take care of herself. Maybe Jack thought that, too and just took off. It wouldn't be the first time.

Callen stared at the screen. "Right," he announced. "Let's go look at this warehouse."


	4. Chapter 4

The pebbles crunched beneath Kensi's boot. She winced. The last thing they needed was Gutierrez's men knowing that NCIS agents surrounded them. Deeks put up a finger to his lips. Kensi shot him a look that said, "I know. It was an accident."

Deeks smirked. Kensi didn't know whether she wanted to slap him or smile.

Deeks and her got the short end of the straw, they had to infiltrate first. Callen and Sam would go in after them.

They decided that the best way to do this job was to go in, just the four of them. The smaller the team, the smaller the percentage of things going wrong. That's what Hetty said. Kensi didn't know if she agreed. She didn't want to go in there gun's a-blazin', but she didn't feel comfortable without back up. Eric did say army.

She didn't really have a choice, though. She was the reason they were investigating this. Well, Claire was, but Kensi was, too, by association.

As she neared a door, she thought about a conversation she had with Claire the night before.

Once the team confirmed that the house was clean of evidence and was ready, Claire was allowed to come back. Kensi stayed behind to ask Claire a few questions.

"I told you everything I know," Claire said while pulling out some soda from the fridge.

"I know, I know, I just need a few more de—"

"Kensi, I know you're on the job, but can we NOT talk about the case, just for a few minutes?"

Kensi was taken aback, but she nodded. "Sure, um, what do you want to talk about?"

Claire laughed. "I don't know. I haven't seen you in years and all of the sudden I come calling and, as always, you come to save the day. We've got to have something to talk about."

"Yeah. How did you know where I worked?"

"Jack gave me the address and told me if I ever needed help to go to you. I guess it came in handy," Claire shrugged.

"But how did Jack even know? I started working there after he and I…" she trailed off.

"Broke up?" Claire finished.

"Yeah, that."

"I don't know. I don't know what my brother does, Kensi. He's kinda a loose cannon, you know?"

"I know. Do you know if he has a girlfriend?" Kensi asked. "For the case."

"As far as I know, you were the last steady girlfriend Jack has had. He doesn't really have much of a life, my brother."

Kensi took a sip of her soda as she thought. _At least we're in the same boat in _that _department,_ she said to herself.

"Speaking of boys," Claire started with a sly smile. "You and that police officer, what's his name? Deeks. What's up with you and him?"

"There's nothing 'up' with Deeks and me. We're partners. That's all."

"Mm-hmm. I bet you have to say that a lot," Claire said.

_I do say that a lot,_ Kensi thought to herself, not that she told that to Claire.

"There's no use lying to me," Claire continued. "I'm a teenage girl. We SMELL sexual attraction from miles away. You two have a thing—I know it.

Kensi choked on her soda. "Thing?" she echoed. Well, she couldn't really deny that. They even admitted it to each other that they had a "thing" but Kensi wasn't really sure what that meant.

Claire continued, "I mean, come on, Kensi. He is cute. In a shaggy, surfer dude kind of way."

"Deeks? No. Definitely not."

"So, you're telling me, with all the undercover work you guys have to do, and all the years you have been partners with him, you have never wanted to kiss his adorable, surfer dude lips?"

"No! Never," Kensi quickly replied. A little too quickly.

Claire arched her eyebrows. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Claire studied her formal future-sister-in-law. "Oh, my God."

"What?"

"You HAVE kissed him!"

"What? No—" Kensi stopped, once again thinking about that undercover job her and Deeks did a few years back. "Well, not…personally." Kensi watched as Claire tensed in delight.

"Oh, my God. Best. Thing. Ev-wait, what do you mean, 'personally'?"

"It was undercover. So, it doesn't count."

"It so does."

Kensi shook her head and took another swing of her soda.

That was two days ago. Kensi now had her gun in front of her, waiting to barge into a drug lord's warehouse.

She flicked her eyes to her partner quickly. She didn't think he saw her, but he did. He always saw her. He turned to her and gave her his little smirk, as if to say, "You ready for this?" She rolled her eyes.

"Green light," Callen's voice said into her ear.

Kensi and Deeks entered the building with ease, speedy enough to be safe. Quiet enough to be undetected. They crept through the dark corridor, ready for anything.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Kensi whirled around at the sound of gunfire. Deeks was right next to her, so it must have been Callen or Sam. "All clear?" she whispered.

Silence.

"Sam? Callen? Answer me," Deeks said.

"All clear," Sam's voice came through. Kensi sighed with no small relief.

"Kensi, you should come see this," Callen said.

Kensi's heart stopped as she ran over to where Sam and Callen were. She found them, standing in the middle of a circle of dead men. Callen's eyes met hers and he flicked a glance to the center of the room.

There, slumped over in the chair, was a man, unconscious and tied up. She looked at Callen and Sam quizzically and rushed to the limp person. She knelt down on her knees and she held his chin in her palm.

It was Jack.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry it took me SO LONG to update. But, I'm still here. A few things: I have the next few chapters written, this story is not over. Also, a few of you have been asking things like "How did they know where OSP was?" and things like that. All I can say is that this was my first fic, so naturally, there was some mistakes. Writing for NCIS: LA is difficult. Haha. Uhm, I like to think that Hetty had something to do with it, personally. -NZ**

* * *

"Where's Gutierrez?" she asked, not taking her eyes off of Jack.

"Not in the warehouse," Sam said. "We can track him through one of their phones, though."

"Deeks, can you untie him?" Kensi asked. She held on to Jack as Deeks cut the rope that was binding him to the chair. She felt the weight of him on her as he inevitably fell forward. And his smell…he smelled the same as he did years ago. She knew that smell. It was the cologne that she bought him for his birthday.

She pushed him back against the back of the chair. Out of habit, she smoothed his hair out of his face—a gesture that wasn't lost on her partner. "Jack," she said gently. "Jack, can you hear me?" Kensi searched his body for injuries. Luckily, all that seemed injured was his wrists from being tied up.

"Jack," she said again, this time more forcefully.

He stirred, relaxing her and making her nervous all at once. She felt his eyes lock with hers and, for a moment, it was like no time had past. The soft blue eyes that had been constant in her mind were now looking directly at her.

"K-Kensi?" he rasped.

"Yeah, it's me," she said, smiling in spite of herself.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He smiled slightly and tried to straighten up, wincing.

"Don't try to move much," Kensi ordered. She turned to Callen. "Call 911."

"Kensi, it's not that bad," Jack insisted.

"Says the guy that I probably just saved from getting beaten within an inch of his life."

"Yeah, about that," Jack said, eying the dead bodies sideways. "Thanks for showing up. How did you find me?"

"Claire," Kensi answered, lips pursed.

"The kid always liked you. I'm pretty sure she likes you more than she likes me," Jack said. "Wouldn't blame her, though. I'm an idiot," he paused. "Look what I left behind."

Deeks, who was watching this exchange in silence, cleared his throat. Kensi looked up in relative surprise, a bit pink. "Oh, um, Jack, this is," she started.

"Ambulance is en route. Five minutes," Callen said, pocketing his phone.

Deeks looked back at Kensi, but she had reverted her attentions back to Lt. Howard. Deeks took this time to study his partner, whom he had come to know as a stone cold fox (emphasis on _stone cold_), as he tried to push down that now-familiar feeling of jealousy again.

That feeling didn't really go away. Deeks ended up going to the hospital with Kensi and Jack, under the pretense of being part of Howard's security. Deeks didn't really like being Howard's personal Pinkerton, but it was better than leaving Kensi alone with him. Not that he wasn't confident that Kensi could handle herself, it's just that—

"They _are _quite a pair," a voice came up beside him.

He turned and saw Claire was staring straight ahead, like he was, through the glass, at Kensi and Jack. They were talking and Deeks couldn't tell if it was serious or not because one minute they would be laughing, the next, Kensi would have the crinkle above her nose, the one she got when she was upset. He knew she wasn't asking him any questions about the case because they both agreed that Callen and Sam should handle that. But, those two were tied up at the moment.

Deeks looked at Kensi, a small smile tugged on her face. "I guess," he said with a sigh. He turned his back to the glass and leaned up on the rail, crossing his arms. "Your brother isn't really in bad shape. They just want to keep him overnight as a precaution. You could go in to see him."

The girl twisted a piece of her hair in between her fingers. "Nah, not yet," she said absentmindedly. "I want to give them some time." Deeks snorted in response and she added, "Plus, I don't know how I want to play it yet."

She smiled at Deeks' lifted eyebrow. "If I want to go in, all relieved or I want to be pissed."

"I would go with the second one."

Claire sighed. "Yeah, well."

"Well, what?"

"I'm tired, Detective," Claire confessed. She looked at her shoes, beaten up Chucks, and tapped her fingers on her thigh. "I'm tired of having to find him, and when I do find him, I have to clean him up. I mean, I'm on a first name basis with most of the guys at LAPD and I'm not even…." She stopped, taking a breath. "I'm just really, _really _tired."

"Tell Howard that. I'm sure he'll clean up his act."

"For me?" Claire laughed. "No. I've been trying that for years. There's only one person he would _ever _even consider doing that for." Claire took a pause to take note on how Deeks tensed and clenched his jaw. She chuckled and shook her head. "And he lost her a long time ago."

She saluted Deeks with two fingers and turned on her heel to enter the room. Deeks watched through the glass as Claire entered timidly and Kensi greeted her with a smile. Jack had the look of a misbehaved puppy. Deeks couldn't help but click his tongue in satisfaction.

Kensi stayed with the siblings a moment before her attention was focus on her phone. The text on the screen caused that crinkle to show up. It wasn't long before Deeks' phone went off as well.

**CALLEN: Gutierrez in the Boathouse. Come ASAP.**

Deeks caught Kensi's eye and she walked briskly out the door and by his side. "Get it?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go," she said and then stopped. "What about Jack?"

"Some of the guys from LAPD are here. I'll give them the change of plans. Through text. In the car."

Kensi rolled her eyes and pushed the down button on the elevator. "They are going to hate you."

"They already do," Deeks shrugged. Kensi couldn't argue with that. Her partner wasn't the most popular guy on the block when it came to the LAPD. "How's he doing?"

His partner took a moment to answer. "He's fine. They're running tests right now because they think he has some sort of drug in his system, but they say his going to be okay."

"Good to know," Deeks murmured.

Kensi entered the elevator. Before it closed, a nurse pushing an unconscious patient in the elevator joined them. Kensi had the choice to lean closer to the wall or walk up next to Deeks. She chose the latter and almost immediately regretted it. Deeks was so close and in her personal space and she couldn't help but inhale his scent in. He smelled of mint toothpaste and sunscreen and Monty. It wasn't Jack's cologne, but it was just as comforting, better, even.

She saw him swallow; he also took note at how close in proximity they were. She wanted to crack a joke, something like, _You'd think that they'd have bigger elevators in a hospital_, something to relieve the awkwardness, but it was the nurse was there, eyeing them in the judging way Kensi felt that all nurses eyed people. The awkwardness was here to stay, then.

Kensi looked up at Deeks, not expecting to catch his eye, but she did. She was startled to see that he was looking at her in a way that made her flush, a mixture of amusement and…attraction? Kensi didn't get a chance to examine it, because as soon as it was there, it was gone.

_Ding._

Kensi jumped as the elevator landed on the bottom floor. From the corner of her eye, she could have sworn that she saw the nurse roll her eyes and shake her head as she pushed her charge out of the lift. Kensi took half a second to get herself together and she followed.

She jumped in the passenger seat and Deeks gunned it.


	6. Chapter 6

Kensi rushed into the boathouse. Sam turned to her. "He's asking for you," he said, nodding towards the TV.

"Me? Why me?"

"Apparently, he knows who you are."

Deeks did not like the sound of that. "I'll go with you," he said.

"Gutierrez will only talk with Kensi and Kensi alone," Callen said.

Kensi saw the look in her partner's eye. It was unsettling, how angry he was. "Hey," she said, making eye contact. "I'll be fine." Deeks almost said something, but she cut him off. "I will, okay?" Deeks nodded and Kensi took that as an all-clear.

He caught his partner's arm as she started to walk to the interrogation room. "Kensi, you don't have to do this," he said quietly.

"Yes, I do. For—" she stopped. She was going to say, "for Jack", Deeks knew, but he also knew that Kensi didn't owe Jack a goddamn thing. Kensi bit her lip and placed a reassuring hand on his arm and squeezed.

With that, she turned and walked down the hall, leaving Deeks to watch on the TV screen.

Kensi took a deep breath and opened the door. Sitting there, cuffed, was Jose Gutierrez. He looked pretty beat up and pissed. Kensi couldn't wait to hear the story of how Callen and Sam got him, but it would have to wait.

Gutierrez looked up when he heard the door open. When he saw Kensi, he smiled. "_Hola_," he slurred.

Kensi mentally steeled herself. This guy was nothing compared to what they've dealt with before. "Why did you ask for me?"

"What, no small talk?" Gutierrez asked, mock-offended. "I thought you government agents like to butter your prisoners before you ask them for straight facts. I thought I would at least be offered a complimentary cup of coffee."

Kensi looked at him. "You don't talk like a drug dealer."

He gritted his teeth. "What do I talk like?"

"Like you're educated."

Gutierrez relaxed back into his sly grin. "My mom was a teacher. Believed in school."

Kensi's eyebrows shot up. "So, you went to college?"

"Yeah, for two years. Never graduated."

"Why not?"

"Things happen."

"Things that caused you to become a drug lord."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, _chica_."

Kensi ignored the way his voice sounded, slimy and disgusting. She looked him straight in the eye, "What is your connection with Lieutenant John Howard?"

Gutierrez eyes lit up, and not in the good way. "Ah, yeah. I was waiting for this part."

"What part?" Kensi asked coldly.

"The part where I watch you react when I tell you how Jack handled it."

"Handled what?"

"The drugs."

Kensi dug her nails into her palm.

* * *

"Okay, that's it," Deeks announced. "I'm ending this."

Sam put his arm out, stopping him. "Deeks."

Deeks turned to him, fire in his blue eyes. "There is _no way_ this ends well."

"Have faith. Have faith in her. Kensi is trained. And Gutierrez can't do anything to her," Sam scoffed. "He'll be crying for his mama in five seconds, flat." Seeing that Deeks wasn't in the mood for jokes, the senior agent sighed. "She can handle this. Just wait," he looked at his teammate. "All you can do is wait."

Deeks swallowed his anger and sat down in a chair. He scrubbed his face with his hand, suddenly very tired. "If he tries anything, I'll kill him."

"Not if Kensi beats you to it," Callen commented with a smile in his voice.

* * *

"Drugs? So, he wasn't…?"

"Working for me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Gutierrez spat.

_You don't want me to answer that, _Kensi thought, but she kept her mouth shut. Gutierrez continued, "Having a vet apart of your crew is the stupidest thing a person could do."

"And why is that?"

"You never know if or when they'll get that patriotic, respecting-the-law bullshit feeling again and turn their asses in. That, or they get themselves killed and feds like you come in."

"And yet, here we are." Kensi commented coolly. She saw something flash in Gutierrez's eye.

"Trust me, I should have known that his _noviecita _would come lookin' for him."

What the hell was he talking about? Where was this coming from? This little chat with Gutierrez was getting more and more confusing. She wished she talked to Jack about the whole thing, but he was still recovering and she _was _too close to do a fair interrogation because there was a chance that he was involved in a less-than-legal way and she doesn't know how she would handle that. And Claire…Claire always ended up in the crossfire.

She was pissed.

"You have three seconds to explain or I will make you regret it."

Gutierrez smiled. "I love it when you federal chicks get feisty."

"One."

Silence.

"Two."

"Lay it on me, Princess."

Something in Kensi snapped. She stood up and slammed his head into the metal desk. She placed both her palms on his cheek and put all her weight on them.

"Okay, okay, I'll talk!" Gutierrez said, blood spurting from his nose. "Jesus. I'll talk! Just lay off!"

Kensi considered this for a moment, pressed her hand deeper into his cheek, grinding his face into the table for another excruciating moment, mainly for the pure pleasure of hearing Gutierrez whimper. _I thought drug lords were supposed to be tough._

Kensi let go and sat back in her chair. Gutierrez lifted his face off the table and put the back of his palm on his nose. She could tell it wasn't broken, which was kind of disappointing. Gutierrez looked at her with wary eyes. She arched her eyebrow.

"Howard saw us making a deal," he confessed. "He was just passing through and he saw us and he ran."

"And then what?" Kensi prodded.

"We found him. Brought him to the warehouse."

"And tortured him. All because he witnessed a drug deal?" Kensi spat.

"You think I would go through all that trouble over some regular deal? Nah, man. I would have just shot him in the head and be done with it."

"Then what was it?"

"You must be _loca_ if I'm going to tell you, _chica_," Gutierrez scoffed and licked his lips. Kensi was just about to shoot back up again.

"Kensi," Callen said into her earpiece. "We have Howard's test results."

Kensi got up and headed for the door. She left without looking back at Gutierrez and walked to her team. Deeks grinned. "What happened to three?"

"I forgot how to count."

_That's my girl._

* * *

Kensi turned to Callen. "What is it?"

"Howard was injected with high doses of sodium pentothal, among other things."

"Truth serum," Sam said.

"Shit."

The team had recently been investigating a man by the name of Tom Viktor, a terrorist sympathizer, mainly for the Russians, and his means of getting information was to inject his "interviewees" with truth serum. The same type that Jack had in his system.

"So, Gutierrez is working for Viktor," Deeks said.

"Looks like it," Kensi sighed. Well, at least she had something to work off of.

"G. and I will go look into it more. See what you can get from Gutierrez," Sam said, his phone pressed to his ear, calling Eric. He left the Boathouse quickly and Callen followed in suit. Kensi pinched the bridge of her nose and went back to the interrogation room.

Deeks stopped her. "I'm going in with you."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?" Kensi pushed. _What are you, my mother?_ she thought, but she waited.

"I'm…." he trailed off.

"You're not _what_, Deeks?"

"I'm not comfortable with you doing this alone."

"I was doing it alone before."

"Yeah, but—"

"Deeks," his partner cut in. Her eyes had a mixture of annoyance and understanding.

"I will not stop until I'm in there, with you, making sure that scumbag doesn't piss you off more and we have to send him to the hospital."

Kensi quirked a smile, he'd gotten to her. "Fine," she said. "But I'm still the lead on this."

He threw his hands up in mock-surrender. "That's cool. What're we doing here? 'Good cop, bad cop?' Because you've got the bad cop thing down, I think." Kensi rolled her eyes and went back into the interrogation room.

Deeks immediately dropped the act when he saw Gutierrez.

"Who is this dude?" Gutierrez asked.

"No one that concerns you," Kensi said.

"Hey, _ese_. Are you here to stop her from assaulting me? Because I know you saw that. You were watching that, right?" he said, motioning to the camera in the corner. "You saw it."

"I didn't see anything."

"Look at my face, man! Looked how fucked up it is! It wasn't like this when I came in here, man!"

"I think it looks perfectly fine," Deeks said. Kensi bit back a grin. Gutierrez flicked his gaze from Deeks to Kensi a couple of times.

"Man, this is why the legal system is fucked up. Because you cops blame us for not following the rules and then you don't either. I know my rights."

"You're working for Tom Viktor," Kensi said.

Gutierrez's eyes got a smidge wider. "Who?"

Kensi laughed and leaned forward. "Think about it, Gutierrez. We have you on just about everything. Drug charges, armed robbery, kidnapping, assault. You're looking at twenty to life. Now, if you help us nab Viktor, we _maybe _can help you with a deal. Maybe."

Deeks grinned and looked at Kensi. God, she was amazing. In every possible way. How could someone leave her? _Howard's an idiot._

Gutierrez played with his thumbs for a bit. Then, "What do you want to know?" Kensi was shocked and kind of disappointed. She was hoping for a fight.

"Viktor. Tell me that story," Kensi ordered.

Gutierrez sighed. "He heard that I had one of the best routes into LA. So, he got in touch with me and he would send the stuff into Mexico, and I would get it to his people here."

"The stuff? The truth serum?" Gutierrez nodded. "What did he need it for?"

"I don't know," he said. Deeks leapt forward, causing him to jump. "Honest! Honest, okay?!"

"Tell me about Howard," Kensi gritted, barely containing control.

"Look, he saw some of my guys finishing up some business with his guys and he looked like a military guy, so we thought he was snoopin' or some shit and so we got him, and we shot him up with some of the stuff. To get info out of him."

"He didn't have any _info_," she spat, her voice slightly shaking. "What—"

"What were you going to do to him when you realize that he had nothing?" Deeks finished.

"Kill him," Gutierrez said simply and shot a gleeful look to Kensi.

With that, Kensi bit her lip, pushed her chair out, and turned her head to look at Deeks. Her partner looked like he would like nothing better that to beat the shit out of the drug lord, but he followed her. Kensi's hand was on the knob when Gutierrez stopped them.

"He'll never be safe," Gutierrez drawled. "You can lock me up, hell, you can lock Viktor up, too, but he has people. Everywhere. And they won't stop until your boyfriend is dead."

Kensi opened the door and walked out.

* * *

Deeks quietly approached her. He saw that her knuckles were white, her fists curled in, probably breaking the skin of her palm.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her hand. He put her hand under her chin, nudging it up so that she would look at him.

"He's right," she whispered. "He'll never be safe. _Claire _will never be safe. Even if we do catch the bastard."

Deeks didn't say anything. What could he say? Viktor had connections. Connections that were going to be loyal to him forever. Howard was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time and now it ruined his life. He looked at his partner. Tears of frustration were threatening to spill over in her eyes. When they finally did, he softly wiped one away.

She stepped back and swiftly dried the other ones up with the back of her hand, looking down, collecting herself. "Right," she cleared her throat. "We have to get them into witness protection."

He pursed his lips. "I'll call Hetty."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This might be a little short. However, the next chapter will be the LAST CHAPTER. I just finished writing it. I stayed up all night. I just have to look it over and stuff. That should be up tomorrow-or later today, because it's 5:45 AM where I am-so keep a lookout. -NZ**

* * *

It was two days later and they were in the bullpen. Kensi, Deeks, Claire, Jack, and Hetty, plus Grabowski, the agent who was going escort them to the airport. Callen and Sam were still looking for Viktor from the leads they had gotten from Gutierrez and it was a good sign.

Deeks was at his desk, pretending to do some paperwork, while watching Kensi talk to Claire in Hetty's office. Claire was understandably upset when she realized that she would have to be in witness protection, so it took both Hetty and Kensi—and a cup or two of tea—to her past hysterics.

It broke Deeks' heart. To be eighteen and have to change your whole life because of your idiot brother. God.

"I'm an asshole, I know," Deeks' head shot up. Howard was standing next to his desk, looking at the three women across the room. "I always have been, and Claire's always had to…well."

Deeks got a better look at Kensi's ex-fiancée. He was handsome, to be sure, in a sort of roughed-up-cowboy sort of way. But, there was something about him that wasn't quite right. Maybe it was the way that his eye gleamed that wasn't quite genuine. Maybe it was because he _was _an asshole.

_Kensi almost married this dude?_

"Yeah," he said. "Must be rough."

"I feel like shit." _You should_. Howard turned to him. "She really is something, isn't she?"

"Claire?"

"No, Kensi."

Deeks gripped his pen tighter at the way Howard said her name, like she was his. "Yeah, she's great."

"It's Deeks, right?"

"Yeah."

"You know, she's the one that got me through it," Jack continued, nodding towards his partner. "The only thing I remember saying when I was drugged was 'Kensi will get you'. Isn't that something?"

"It…is," Deeks finished awkwardly. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep him from saying something stupid.

"Man," Howard continued. "Why did I ever leave her?"

"I don't know, why did you?" Deeks asked before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted it when he felt Howard's gaze on him.

"I wish I had an answer for you, Deeks. I really do. I was an idiot. And now it's definitely too late," he said. "Hey, you don't think that she'll move to the middle of nowhere with me?" he half-joked.

Deeks stared at him. _You've got to be fucking kidding me. Does he know how much damage he caused her? How long it took her to let someone in again?_

Before he could open his mouth, Kensi came over with a red-eyed Claire, who was staring daggers at her brother. _That was going to be a fun plane ride._ "All set?" Kensi asked to no one in particular.

Jack nodded and started to walk with Kensi down the hallway towards Grabowski. Claire stayed behind. "You okay?" he asked, getting up, partly to comfort Claire, partly to have vision on his partner.

Claire laughed humorlessly. "Would you be?"

"No, I guess not. You know, you're eighteen. You could probably get a different assignment."

"And then I'd be totally alone," Claire said. "My choices aren't exactly the best."

"I'm sorry." It was a useless thing to say, but that was all he could think of. Claire must have understood, because she gave him a small smile. "Hopefully, you won't hate him forever."

"Hopefully," she sighed and started to head off. She stopped and turned to him. "Take care of her, will you?"

He nodded with a smile. His eyes flicked towards his partner and Lt. Howard. They were talking in hushed voices, but as soon as they saw Claire approaching, they stopped. Howard said something to his sister, which she pointedly ignored. She hugged Kensi tightly and it took Kensi by surprise, but she reciprocated. Claire let go and headed out the door with Grabowski.

Kensi looked back at Jack and put her hand in her pocket, reaching for something. It was the picture. She was giving it back to him. Deeks saw that Howard almost resisted it, but after a moment or two, Kensi pushed it into his grasp.

Howard then said something else and kissed Kensi on the cheek. Deeks sucked in a breath, waiting for his partner's response, part of him praying that she would slap him across the face. It would be cathartic for her, for sure, but also for him. He didn't like the thought of Kensi being lost over a guy. She was too strong for that.

However, she seemed to accept the gesture. Deeks couldn't see her face. _Please don't be enjoying it_, he thought quickly.

Howard stepped back away from her and out the door, where his sister and Grabowski were waiting.

Deeks immediately turned away and pretended to rummage through a filing cabinet as Kensi came back to the bullpen. She quickly grabbed her bag, stuffing a few things in. "I'm going home," she announced.

And then she left.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: The last chapter. Wow. This is the longest fic I've ever done, so this is an accomplishment...? I guess. Thank you for sticking with me. I will say that this is my favorite chapter and I like how I ended it, even though I did change it a couple times. It just feels like how it would actually happen, y'know? Well, I hope you enjoy. -NZ**

* * *

She was on her third beer of the night. The ice cream was almost gone. She already watched _Titanic_ and she really didn't feel like crying anymore. She sighed and got up of the couch to go to her stack of DVDs.

_God_, she thought to herself. _I'm pathetic_.

She flipped through the DVDs, quickly considering each one, then moving on to the next. She stopped at _An Affair to Remember_. She clicked her tongue. Maybe. "Wait," she said to herself, "the ending." She cried at the end of that movie. Everyone with a _heart_ cried at the end of that movie and, contrary to popular belief, Kensi did have a heart. If she didn't, she wouldn't be this upset over an asshole who left her years ago.

Jack.

Her mind wandered to the last conversation that she had with him in the hallway, probably the last conversation that they would ever have.

_"You sure you don't wanna come with? I hear New Mexico is beautiful," he said to her, grinning slightly._

_Kensi looked at her ex. She knew that he was joking. She also knew that he was being somewhat serious. If she said "yes", he would scoop her up and put her on that plane without hesitation. That was just how Jack was. A small—very small—voice in the back of her head considered it, but only for a second, because as soon as she thought about running away with Jack, a face popped into her mind and it wasn't Jack Howard._

_"Jack…" she trailed off. She could never exactly say "no" to him. That was another thing about Jack. She was helpless against him, which really pissed her off._

_However, Jack wasn't focused on her anymore. Claire had come up to them. "Hey, kiddo. Make sure you're ready. It's a two hour flight."_

_Claire ignored him and went to hug her. Kensi was taken aback, but she hugged the girl right back. _This is the last time I'll see her,_ she thought. A lump formed in her throat. She met Claire when she was just a kid, and now it was over._

_Claire pulled back. "I'll, um…" she started. Claire bit her lip. She couldn't say "see you later" or "call you", because she obviously couldn't._

_"Yeah," Kensi said for her, understanding. God, this was hard. It was like losing a sister. Claire smiled sadly and turned to Grabowski, walking away from them._

_"God, I'm an asshole." Kensi turned back to Jack. He looked…guilty. _He should be.

_"Yeah, you are," she said bluntly._

_He laughed. "Guess I deserved that."_

_"You deserve a lot worse, actually."_

_"Right," he said. "Well, this is goodbye…?" he left the question opened, the offer still stood._

_"This is goodbye," she said, more confidently than she actually felt. _

_Jack started to turn before Kensi stopped him. "Wait," she said and she pulled the picture of them out of her pocket and into his hand. "Take it."_

_"No, Kensi, I can't—"_

_"Yes, you can. Please," she said, making his hand close around the photo. "Something to remember me." God, that was such a line. She needed to watch something else because this was getting ridiculous._

_Jack's eyes met hers and Kensi almost felt weak. He was looking at her the way he used to look at her in the beginning, before he went off. Like she was something beyond his reach. It made her stomach hurt. _

_"I hope he knows how lucky he is."_

_She knew he was talking about Deeks, but before she could reassure him that they were only partners—because they were…right?—Jack leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek._

_It was a sweet gesture, something she sort of enjoyed; it was a farewell kiss. He was letting her go, and she was doing the same. Closure._

_It was over a moment later and Jack grabbed his bag and she watched him walk out the door._

Kensi replayed it in her mind and she was soon crumbling back to tears, Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant soon forgotten. She was alone again. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. She would've invested in cats, if she liked them.

A knock on the door pulled her out of it. She sighed and pulled herself up, wiping her eyes and smoothing her shirt.

She smiled when she opened the door and found a pair of blue eyes staring back.

"Hey, Fern," he said, an easy smile on his face.

She smiled wider at the nickname. "Hi."

"I figured you were running low," he said, indicating to the plastic bag he was carrying. "I have Mint Chocolate Chip, Dutch Chocolate, and Homemade in the Shade, you know the vanilla one with the chunks of fudge?"

She opened the door and he stepped inside. "Where's Monty?"

"At home, I didn't want to wake him," Deeks said. "Plus, I kinda just wanted it to be you and me tonight. You know, partner bonding and all." He made his way into her kitchen. "What do you want?"

"Mint Chip, please," she said as she looked through her DVDs again.

Deeks soon came back with a big bowl of ice cream and handed it to her. "Thanks." He looked over her shoulder at the movies.

"Hey, can we _not _do a rom-com tonight? I'm not feeling it."

She laughed. "What are you 'feeling'?"

He knelt down beside her, looking through the collection. His eyes lit up as he found what he was looking for. "_Back to the Future: Part I. _Everyone loves a good 80s-era Michael J. Fox. And, it's got a _Star Wars _reference and a _Star Trek _reference _in the same sentence_, so it gets bonus points for that."

"You're such a dork."

"I'm taking that as a 'yes'." Deeks opened the case and popped the disc into the player and joined Kensi on the couch. His arm was resting behind her and he was messing with the remote. She watched him quietly as he sped through the trailers to get to the menu.

Once the actual movie started he relaxed back into the couch. Kensi bit her lip. She took a breath and set her bowl of half-melted ice cream on the coffee table. She then scooted closer to her partner and leaned against him, so her head was on his chest. _What am I doing?_

She felt him tense for a moment, and then his arm wrapped around her. They stayed like that in comfortable silence for a while. Soon, she wasn't even focused on the movie, just the way his chest went up and down as he breathed and the scent of mint toothpaste, sunscreen, and Monty.

"I went to go see the third one with my dad in the theater," she said, suddenly. "I was eight. He loved this stuff. It was probably one of the few non-military things I knew about him. He tried to convince my mom to buy a DeLorean," she smiled at the memory. "It was before…everything happened."

Before her parents fell apart, before it was just her and her father, before he left her and she was alone. Before she found Jack and before he left her, too. This seemed to be a pattern.

"It's been a hard week," she whispered, tears threatening to cross the boundaries.

"I know, Kens," he said quietly.

"He wanted me to go with him," she felt him hold in a breath. "I didn't."

Deeks let out a small laugh. "Obviously."

"It was…because of you," she said quickly. "I didn't go because when Jack asked me, I saw your face in my head." _Good going, Blye. Way to make an ass out of yourself._ But she looked up anyway. Her partner was smiling slightly.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," she repeated, mostly for her own benefit. She put her head back on his chest.

Yes, they still had a case. They still had to find Viktor. Sam and Callen probably were working at it non-stop, which should have made her feel guilty that she wasn't there, and it would…tomorrow. But, at that moment, she was content to watch movies, pseudo-cuddling with her partner.

"I'll never leave you, Fern," he said quietly into her hair.

There were more feelings implied there, they both knew it. They were just comfortable with this, the thing they had right now. They would talk about it someday but, today was not that day.

She smiled. "I know."


End file.
